Tag Archives: Self-Love

Finding Love.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  – Rumi

I love Rumi quotes.  Not only is he almost always talking about love, but he seems to say so much about it with so few words.  It’s hard to even comment on such a clear and concise statement, but I am going to add my thoughts to the table anyway.  (;

You’ll hear many people – especially girls – in the U.S. talk about how they “just want to be loved.”  It’s usually used in a romantic context, but it can just mean in general, as well.  The people who say it feel like if they could just have the love of another person, their life would be complete!

What I think when people say this, is that they aren’t realizing that all the people in the world could love them, and that need that they feel still wouldn’t be satisfied – unless they are also able to give love back.  As I’ve said in previous posts, what I feel is necessary to truly love others is to truly love yourself.  And loving yourself is a lot easier said than done.  It involves doing a lot of inner work – the kind that people don’t want to do because it involves things like figuring out what you believe, and more importantly, why.  If you don’t know why you do the things you do, it’s pretty hard to love yourself for it. 

Loving yourself also includes things like realizing both your strengths and your weaknesses, and accepting the things you do know while acknowledging how much you don’t.  Generally, people don’t want to do this kind of inner work.  These things get messy, as you come to realize how many things you take for granted as true that actually make no sense at all.

So, what do people do instead?  They talk about “wanting to be loved,” in order to fill this hole that they have because they don’t – and can’t – love themselves.  They are either too scared, or too lazy, or too sedated by our fake “reality” to seriously sit down and challenge their most deeply held beliefs about life.  I know, because at one point I was there.  I used to spew all kinds of BS about how bad drugs were, how untrue evolution was and how I was so positive that certain people were going to hell all because “the Holy Bible Told Me So!”  I took information from other people and just repeated it without ever looking into things myself, and I and many others can tell you I wasn’t a very confident person in those days. Now that I have looked into things, I feel differently on all those points…  But I digress.

The point I’m trying to make here is, as Rumi says: do not seek for love.  Love will find you when you have found Yourself.  Focus on becoming the best person you can be, and you will start to attract people who do the same.  Love is so much better when it’s a two-way thing.

Your homework for the day (yes, homework!) is to take five minutes, and meditate – by which I mean think really hard – on one of your most deeply held beliefs.  Think about the most convincing arguments you’ve heard for and against it, your personal reasons for believing it, and what it does for your life by believing it.  When the five minutes are up, you’ll either come out more confident and energized in what you believe or motivated to get some answers to the questions you didn’t realize you had about it.  Either way, I guarantee you’ll feel just a little bit better about who you are and what you are here to do. (;

Love to you all, hope you have a WONDER-FULL day!

KT<3 

Related Posts: Pt. 1: Love Yourself, Pt. 2: Love Others, Admitting that I Don’t Know.

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Pt. 1: Love Yourself

”Love your neighbor as yourself.” – The Bible & Others

Love is quite a big deal to me – hence the reason it’s in the Title of my blog. I figured it was about time to talk a little bit about it, so, here’ goes!

In order to Truly Love the people around you and value their lives and their choices, you need to understand how to love yourself, and value your own life and choices.  That’s a lot to cover, so I split this blog into two – loving yourself and loving others.

So how to love yourself?  It’s a lot easier said than done, and I don’t claim to have all the answers; I just want to hopefully be of help to anybody who might be struggling with something I’ve already been through. (;

First of all, you must realize and admit that you are not perfect and never will be – what is important is that you work on your weaknesses, not that you don’t have any.  Beating yourself up about things that you think or do is not the way to become a better person.  Give yourself permission to be happy with who you are regardless of your flaws.  Why, you ask?  Because you have wonderful talents, strengths, and experiences in a combination that Nobody else in the world has!  After realizing your Uniqueness, see that you have something to offer to the world that nobody else can; proceed to go out and Do You.

If you don’t feel like you’re particularly good at anything – start by thinking outside the “baseball, cooking, piano, singing” box of talents that probably comes to mind when you think about what you could be good at.  You might be a good listener, good at explaining things to little kids, good at making people feel better, or even just a good thinker – maybe you can analyze things to a higher degree than most people can.  No matter what, there is definitely something you are good at that can be applied on a larger scale than in just your personal life – a.k.a. What You Have to Offer the World.

Loving yourself also comes a lot easier when you can love your body.  The body you have now is the only one you’ll get, so if you want it to work for you and not against you, you need to treat it like it’s important to you!  I’ve found that the healthier I eat – more veggies, less meat/sugar/processed foods – the better my body not only looks, but feels.  And of course, the same goes for exercising.  I don’t do the whole ‘go to the gym every day’ thing, but just doing something physically active for at least thirty minutes a day works wonders for my mood and my body.  If the gym isn’t for you either, try riding a bike, going for a walk, or doing like me:  I bought a hula hoop and started dancing!  Whatever it is, just remember that living a healthier lifestyle is good for both your body and your mind, and even when it gets tough, it is worth it to come out in the end looking and feeling your absolute Best.

Lastly, what I have to say is:  love your Life.  I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again.. Life is so much better when you take the time to appreciate the Little Things.  Be happy you have a house to live in, food to eat and a computer and internet connection to even read this blog post.  You’re alive, which definitely is better than dead, and somebody somewhere loves you – even if that somebody is just me. (;

”You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your own love and affection.”  ~Unknown

Much Love,