Tag Archives: Parenting

& Kids matter, too!

I should warn you up front that this is quite the rant; I need to write more blog posts, I think. I’m losing my sanity without them!  (;

So, what is it with parents and this idea that if their kids hate them they are somehow being a “good parent”?  I mean, I get that parents “know better than their kids” in certain situations and you’ll sometimes have to not let them do something they may want to do. But why, oh, WHY would you want your kid to think you’re a “horrible parent” in order to validate your parental effectiveness?  (I literally read that in an article today, that otherwise was actually really good!)  Where did we come up with this kind of thinking?  That it’s funny and something to be proud of when our kids think we’re mean, horrible, and the worst-parents-ever?

I’m sorry (okay, not really), but I want my kid to think highly of me!  I get it, you need to “be the parent” and tell them no to things they want to do sometimes, but if you talk to them like they are an equal human being, use empathy to understand their point of view, and always give reasons for why you aren’t allowing them to do something (no ‘because I told you so’s), I think we’d be amazed at how much better kids respond to us. Children are simply young people, not freaking prisoners or slaves.  They need to have a trusting RELATIONSHIP with you.  Kinda hard when they think you’re the worst parent ever, no?

I don’t see why people treat parent-kid relationships any different than the zillion other relationships they have.  Would you say that you know your friendship’s doing well if your best friends think you’re the worst friend ever, or that your relationship is going well if your spouse thinks you’re the worse spouse ever?  I would certainly hope not.  Why should it be any different with your kids? Your kids are not pets, they are not slaves, they are not prisoners, or anything else that you get to have some kind of “rights” over to control how you want.  They are individuals; human beings with wants, needs, issues, concerns and FEELINGS.  Your children’s feelings should not be disregarded simply because they are your child.  If anything, they should be even more important to you.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and had to get it out.  I hate the way I see parents talk about their kids like they aren’t even human beings, but just little ‘things’ that they get to have complete control over for 18 years and do whatever they want to do with.

Children deserve rights, too.  I really think we should get it out of our heads that parents have to act like some kind of self-righteous dictator to be “good parents.”  Good parenting should be about having good communication with your kids, respecting them (yeah, never thought of that one did you?), being there to help them through the myriad of problems they face, and supporting them in WHATEVER endeavor they choose, regardless of if it isn’t what you would have chosen for them.  Stop micromanaging their lives, give them some space to breathe and see how much these kids we so often give little or no credit to will blossom.

I guarantee you the results will blow our minds.

Moar Nudity.

This topic really gets me riled up for some reason.  I think it’s because from growing up, I personally know the general “conservative” stance on the subject and I know how much energy they give to it and how they look at it.  Nowadays, I’ll see people freaking out about nudity and pornography like “HOLY mother of Jesusssss! Naked bodies and reproducing: that’s the most sinful, immoral, shameful, disgusting thing our kids could ever SEEEEEE! This is why the world is going down the drainnnnn!”

And I’m just like… It is.  A body.  A. BODY.  Teach your kids what they look like from a young age and it will be no surprise to them to see them (research confirms this).  Teach your kids respect for other people and you don’t have to worry about them looking at people in dirty or perverted ways.  Teach your kids why sex is for adults and what it involves and its consequences, etcetera, etcetera, and maybe, just maybe, they’ll make the right choices. If not, guess what?  They’ll learn their lesson!  It’s not your job to literally keep them from making any and all bad choices they might make in life.  It’s your job to inform them and be there for them, guiding them the entire way.

I know – again, personally – from having parents who didn’t really talk to me about sexuality and the like, that if they had encouraged me to just be open with them, instead of making the topic of sex more or less taboo in our household, I probably wouldn’t have gone behind their backs when it came to stuff like that.  I would have just told them up front, or at least would have told them when they asked (if it were done so lovingly, and not accusingly).  But, of course, that’s not what happened.  So instead, I hid it.  So that I wouldn’t get in trouble.  I was more worried about getting in trouble than I was concerned about being honest with my parents.

If that sounds like a recipe for disaster, it’s because it is.  Being able to trust your parents is an important thing.  There has to be a better method of disciplining.

But more on topic.. why sexuality?  Why is it that out of the nearly infinite number of things you could choose to represent immorality, you choose sex?  Something completely natural.  What is it that’s just so disgustingly immoral about it?  Please tell me. 

People are murdered cold-blood every day.  Why don’t you feel so strongly about that?  Most people won’t think twice about letting their kids watch a movie whose entire plot revolves around two people trying to kill each other, or play a game with the same goal — killing.  “Have at it!  The bloodier the better!” they’ll say.  Now take a movie and make it revolve around two people falling in love, then put a sex scene in it.  Oh, now you want to freak out.  Now you want to moan and groan about how immoral our society is becoming.  You people make me sick sometimes.

Teach your kids LOVE.  Teach them peace, and patience.  Teach critical thinking and COMPASSION.  Honesty.  Sharing.  Respect.  And being Real.  Stop worrying so much about if they might accidentally see a breast somewhere, or – God forbid – people procreating. 

People seriously believe that that is what is corrupting the youth of today.  And that’s what the hell is wrong with this world.

Still love you guys though,

Related Posts: Nudity and the Female Form., Nature is Calling., Oh, it Affects You..