Tag Archives: loving others

Finding Love.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  – Rumi

I love Rumi quotes.  Not only is he almost always talking about love, but he seems to say so much about it with so few words.  It’s hard to even comment on such a clear and concise statement, but I am going to add my thoughts to the table anyway.  (;

You’ll hear many people – especially girls – in the U.S. talk about how they “just want to be loved.”  It’s usually used in a romantic context, but it can just mean in general, as well.  The people who say it feel like if they could just have the love of another person, their life would be complete!

What I think when people say this, is that they aren’t realizing that all the people in the world could love them, and that need that they feel still wouldn’t be satisfied – unless they are also able to give love back.  As I’ve said in previous posts, what I feel is necessary to truly love others is to truly love yourself.  And loving yourself is a lot easier said than done.  It involves doing a lot of inner work – the kind that people don’t want to do because it involves things like figuring out what you believe, and more importantly, why.  If you don’t know why you do the things you do, it’s pretty hard to love yourself for it. 

Loving yourself also includes things like realizing both your strengths and your weaknesses, and accepting the things you do know while acknowledging how much you don’t.  Generally, people don’t want to do this kind of inner work.  These things get messy, as you come to realize how many things you take for granted as true that actually make no sense at all.

So, what do people do instead?  They talk about “wanting to be loved,” in order to fill this hole that they have because they don’t – and can’t – love themselves.  They are either too scared, or too lazy, or too sedated by our fake “reality” to seriously sit down and challenge their most deeply held beliefs about life.  I know, because at one point I was there.  I used to spew all kinds of BS about how bad drugs were, how untrue evolution was and how I was so positive that certain people were going to hell all because “the Holy Bible Told Me So!”  I took information from other people and just repeated it without ever looking into things myself, and I and many others can tell you I wasn’t a very confident person in those days. Now that I have looked into things, I feel differently on all those points…  But I digress.

The point I’m trying to make here is, as Rumi says: do not seek for love.  Love will find you when you have found Yourself.  Focus on becoming the best person you can be, and you will start to attract people who do the same.  Love is so much better when it’s a two-way thing.

Your homework for the day (yes, homework!) is to take five minutes, and meditate – by which I mean think really hard – on one of your most deeply held beliefs.  Think about the most convincing arguments you’ve heard for and against it, your personal reasons for believing it, and what it does for your life by believing it.  When the five minutes are up, you’ll either come out more confident and energized in what you believe or motivated to get some answers to the questions you didn’t realize you had about it.  Either way, I guarantee you’ll feel just a little bit better about who you are and what you are here to do. (;

Love to you all, hope you have a WONDER-FULL day!


Related Posts: Pt. 1: Love Yourself, Pt. 2: Love Others, Admitting that I Don’t Know.


Pt. 2: Love Others

This is the follow-up post to this post, so feel free to check that one out, too. (;

In my opinion, Love – true love – is equating another person’s well-being, mental and physical, with your own. To me, it is somewhat interchangeable with empathy, which is the ability to understand, deeply, what another person is feeling. Love, though, seems to have a more spiritual, soul-connection kind of feel to it. I think that it’s why people will give their lives for their loved ones, though it doesn’t often make any evolutionary sense.

As I started to discuss in the previous post, in order to truly love others you need to first truly love yourself. I mean, how can you possibly fully understand how much another person values their own life and decisions unless you value yours the same? If you’ve never felt grateful for the life you have the privilege of living, how can you comprehend that others might feel that way about theirs? It’s really hard to empathize if you aren’t capable of at least understanding where someone is coming from, and to me, empathy is like the root of love… so we’re back to needing to love yourself to love others.

I don’t want “loving others” to be seen as any kind of magical feel-good phrase that accomplishes anything just by talking about it. Love is action, and love is a lifestyle. It is a lifestyle that I sincerely believe that – were it cultivated by the majority of people, towards all of nature and humanity – would directly and indirectly solve the majority of our world’s problems.

Since the beginning of our existence, humans have been expanding their “empathy circles” from families, to tribes, to villages, to nations. Now – for some people – their ability to empathize is growing even further encompass the entire world. I, and many others, have come to the point of view that all of nature – human, animal, insect, plant and otherwise – is part of one giant family, deserving of love, and having Natural Rights and (in our case) responsibilities. A big part of why I started this blog is so I could lay out my thoughts for people and hopefully help them come to some of the same conclusions. (;

So, think about your family, or the closest thing you have to a loving family if you aren’t so close with your own – and how you feel about them. You would certainly never kill your family. You wouldn’t let them starve to death, or just go homeless. You definitely shouldn’t feel threatened or unsafe in any way around your family. If we as the human race can come to see each other as family, these same facts can and should still apply. We shouldn’t sit by and watch our fellow humans starve while we throw away literal tons of food. We shouldn’t let buildings just sit there abandoned while there are people who need shelter all over the world. We certainly shouldn’t be bombing people and their children because of the anger we feel over losing our own.

Love doesn’t do these things. Family doesn’t do these things.

What family does do is look out for each other. They take care of each other when someone has a need. They’re slow to judge, and quick to forgive. They stand up against the people who dare to mess with any of them… and of course, they have an Unconditional Love for each other. That is an attitude that I want to cultivate towards the Entire world – while encouraging others to do the same.

So, first.. Love Yourself.
Then, Love Others.

& remember that others are Your Family. ❤

Much Love!