“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
I love Rumi quotes. Not only is he almost always talking about love, but he seems to say so much about it with so few words. It’s hard to even comment on such a clear and concise statement, but I am going to add my thoughts to the table anyway. (;
You’ll hear many people – especially girls – in the U.S. talk about how they “just want to be loved.” It’s usually used in a romantic context, but it can just mean in general, as well. The people who say it feel like if they could just have the love of another person, their life would be complete!
What I think when people say this, is that they aren’t realizing that all the people in the world could love them, and that need that they feel still wouldn’t be satisfied – unless they are also able to give love back. As I’ve said in previous posts, what I feel is necessary to truly love others is to truly love yourself. And loving yourself is a lot easier said than done. It involves doing a lot of inner work – the kind that people don’t want to do because it involves things like figuring out what you believe, and more importantly, why. If you don’t know why you do the things you do, it’s pretty hard to love yourself for it.
Loving yourself also includes things like realizing both your strengths and your weaknesses, and accepting the things you do know while acknowledging how much you don’t. Generally, people don’t want to do this kind of inner work. These things get messy, as you come to realize how many things you take for granted as true that actually make no sense at all.
So, what do people do instead? They talk about “wanting to be loved,” in order to fill this hole that they have because they don’t – and can’t – love themselves. They are either too scared, or too lazy, or too sedated by our fake “reality” to seriously sit down and challenge their most deeply held beliefs about life. I know, because at one point I was there. I used to spew all kinds of BS about how bad drugs were, how untrue evolution was and how I was so positive that certain people were going to hell all because “the Holy Bible Told Me So!” I took information from other people and just repeated it without ever looking into things myself, and I and many others can tell you I wasn’t a very confident person in those days. Now that I have looked into things, I feel differently on all those points… But I digress.
The point I’m trying to make here is, as Rumi says: do not seek for love. Love will find you when you have found Yourself. Focus on becoming the best person you can be, and you will start to attract people who do the same. Love is so much better when it’s a two-way thing.
Your homework for the day (yes, homework!) is to take five minutes, and meditate – by which I mean think really hard – on one of your most deeply held beliefs. Think about the most convincing arguments you’ve heard for and against it, your personal reasons for believing it, and what it does for your life by believing it. When the five minutes are up, you’ll either come out more confident and energized in what you believe or motivated to get some answers to the questions you didn’t realize you had about it. Either way, I guarantee you’ll feel just a little bit better about who you are and what you are here to do. (;
Love to you all, hope you have a WONDER-FULL day!